• Johnny DaRosa

March 2020 Newsletter


March 1, 2020

Dear Members and Friends:

Have you ever dreamed of being a young child again? Life was more straightforward then, wasn't it? Imagine a toddler's routine on a typical day: sleep, eat, poo and play. But as we grow older, life becomes increasingly complicated. In my life journey, I discovered that the more I know, I realize there is even more that I don't know. I am in my fifties now, and I feel less confident about things I previously felt sure about. Like many people, I've struggled with that at times, and I prefer a degree of predictability over ambiguity.

One day, a student came to me after class and asked, "How do I have a great life?" My answer was the following:

When I started as an entrepreneur, I asked successful people whom I respected this same question. I was confused by the conflicting advice I received. Different individuals seemed to have polar opposite approaches. How could both methods lead to a happy life? As I learned more about human behavior, I realized that there is a wide range of often contradictory approaches that are necessary to succeed in life.

Finding the right road to achieve a great life is like finding your way out of a maze. I think back to a quote from American writer, F. Scott Fitzgerald that serves as my guiding compass:

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."

Paradox pervades all aspects of life, sometimes more than we might appreciate at first. Let's take a moment to consider how true that is:

As humans, we are amazing, and we can also be awful We are capable of acts of compassion and horrific acts of cruelty We are mature in one aspect of life and childish in another When we were young, we wanted to look older, and as we grew older, we wanted to look younger

We develop technology to free up our time and make life easier, then become slaves to it and never switch off

We are busy taking pictures of people, meals, and places to post on social media, but we don’t stop to appreciate the moment We plan our holidays but not our lives We say most things are common sense and yet rarely practice the spirit that is so common We complain about the long hours we work and then choose to work longer hours We have children to be with them, then spend time away to support them We are encouraged to develop our awareness and to notice things, yet we are also warned against being distracted We love the new and disregard the old. Then we pay a fortune for what's old and pennies for what is new

The world pulsates with paradox, and as a result adds depth, richness, opportunity, and variety to our lives. This is something that you will have to carry in life. Don't fight it. Instead, make peace with it.

The road to success, fulfillment, and happiness is not a smooth ride. It's full of bumps and twists. What makes you fulfilled in your thirties could be different in your forties. What works for you might not work for others; that's how life is. I've learned to be more content with contradictions and to understand there are several ways to achieve a great life.

Enjoy a great life! Best wishes,



Johnny DaRosa

President

johnnydarosa@post.harvard.edu



 

致 : 美國華聯商會會員及朋友們 ,

大家是否曾夢想再次回到孩提時代?那些年孩童的生活既簡單也率真。不是嗎?大家 試想像一般孩童的日常生活,不是吃、睡、便便、就是玩耍。但是我們隨著年齡增長,生 活就變得越來越複雜。在我的人生旅程中,意識到對事情所知越多,反變得越不理解。我 現在五十多歲,對以往一些確定的事情,卻變得信心不足。就像許多人一樣,有時我會為 此而苦苦掙扎,但我寧願對事情作出最有可能的預測,也不願將它處於模棱兩可。

有一天,一位學生於課後前來問我:「怎樣可以擁有美滿的生活呢?」。我給他以下 的答案:

當我創業時,亦曾經向一些我尊敬的成功人士,詢問同一問題。但當我得到不盡相同 ,又矛盾的建議時,頓時使我更困惑。不同的人,提出不同的方法,兩種截然不同的方法 ,怎麼可以令我們同樣得到幸福快樂的生活呢?隨著我對人類行為學有更深的了解,令我 意識到,常使用互相矛盾的方法,可以令生活更成功、更美滿。

尋找正確的道路以實現美滿生活,就像在迷宮中尋找出路。這令我想起美國作家, F. Scott Fitzgerald ,他亦是我的人生指南針。他曾說:「頂級智力的考驗,就是有能力同 時擁有兩種相反的想法,並加以適當運用。」

世界充滿「悖論 」;一些矛盾至極的事情,使我們就算遵循邏輯,亦難分對錯。還有 那些似是而非、似非而是的局面,亦令大家陷於兩難。這都會滲透在我們各方面的生活, 有時更會超出大家能想像的範圍。就讓我們花點時間,考慮這些擺在眼前的事實: 作為人類,我們很了不起,但也很可怕。 我們可以作出富有同情心的行動,也可以作出殘酷行為。 我們在生活裏,一方面表現成熟,在另一面卻表現幼稚。

我們年輕時,想裝成熟點。我們變老了,卻想裝年輕點。

我們開發技術,希望騰出更多的時間令生活更輕鬆。可惜卻成為技術的奴隸,永不關機。 我們忙於為自己、食物及地點拍照,然後在社交媒體上發佈。卻無暇欣賞那刻的時光。

我們計劃假期,卻忘記計劃生活 。 我們常說 , 很多事情都是常識,卻沒有把這些常識實行。

我們常抱怨工作時間太長,卻選擇花更長的時間工作。

我們為子女能陪伴在側而高興,卻為種種要支持他們的原因而分離。 我們被鼓勵要對事情提高警覺及專注,同時又被警告不可分心。

我們對事物經常貪新忘舊。最後卻為舊事物作大筆花費,對新事物卻不願花費分毫。

這個世界充滿悖論,這都是在我們生活當中必然存在的。但也因此,增加了我們生活 的深度、豐富性、機會及多樣性。所以,不要與它抗爭,反之,應與它和平共處。

通往成功、美滿、幸福人生的道路上,並不會一帆風順。當中充滿障礙、曲折,及困 難重重。在你 30 歲時所持的價值觀,於 40 歲時可能已有所不同。當初對某些事情或信念 的堅持與執著,經過時日洗禮,明白一個銅錢有兩面,便不再偏執。還有一些對你有效的 方法,對於其他人卻未必能奏效。這就是人生。 我學懂了對矛盾的寬容,也更明白,前面有不同的道路,均可通往美滿幸福的人生。

祝大家生活美滿,

美國華聯商會 會長,

羅世傑 謹啟


Johnny DaRosa johnnydarosa@post.harvard.edu 二零二零年三月一日 中文翻譯:Doris Wong (嘉嘉工作室創辦人)

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